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-------OK I know this person who used to be a good friend of mine, but slowly
over time slipped away to the point that hes almost against me now.
This person is also becoming friends with a lot of people who I hang
out with and I'm afraid he might ruin the relationships I have with
them. He's been known to spread untrue rumors about me. Am I being
selfish? What do I do?------
Advice:
First, ask yourself...if hes spreading untrue rumors to people that are your friends, why should your friends believe this guy over you when it comes to your life? If these people are friends you have known and this guy is suddenly befriending them- you have to realize, he doesn't have any power over the bonds you've maintained with these people. It seems like to me that you have to take charge. If you think you can sit down and talk to this guy about it, then do so. If you can't, and he is really this insecure about himself, (precisely why he is spreading these untrue rumors) then tell your friends whats up with this guy. If they do not except the fact hes lying to them, they aren't true friends. A true friend would believe the person they know better in a situation like this. You say he has a reputation for spreading untrue rumors about you...that is a red flag for people who are now just meeting him. This should make them realize, "hmm, maybe this guy is bad news...". People that spread rumors are not people you want to be friends with.
Then you ask , "am I being selfish?" Well, think about it... are you making this into a bigger deal then it needs to be? Is this guy really not that bad- you just had a rough end to your friendship with him? You can't hold your friends back from expanding their social horizons. But in this case, I think you are trying to protect your friends, which is really nice of you.
All in all, I think you shouldn't keep quiet. Tell your friends about how you feel...and how this guy has affected you. After, ignore his existance. In my life, I have realized that people (like this little liar your dealing with) slow you down. Be positive, hopefully your friends will be supportive, and maybe defensive the next time this guy decides to talk about you.
If this all fails, give him a taste of his own medicine. I REPEAT: THIS IS ONLY IF ALL ELSE FAILS. Since you knew the guy for a while, and these people seem to believe him- why won't they believe you? Let him have it ...IF ALL ELSE FAILS.
hope this helped! | | |
| Hey everyone!
Thanks for all the nice comments, I hope my advice helped the person in need!
I really want to keep this site going, but unfortunately none of you guys seem to be responding to the email or commenting idea. If you need the email again, here it is:
Hmx_advice@hotmail.com
Remember, NO NAMES are ever mentioned. It's your choice if you want it posted either.
email me! 
| | |
| First email!
Here is the situation...
"hey my name is -------------... a.ka. ---------------.... yeah see i have a major crush on this girl ------------ in your grade i think its ------------- or sumthing like that.... i told her that i had a crush on somebody else but it was a lie.truth is i really like her but i dont know if she likes me. and its hard for me just to be like yeah i have a major crush on you but i dont want her too never know how i feel about her. ahhh help me plz."
Alrighty...Well, first thing is first. You need to sit down for a minute- hold back and see if you truly like her. Then, you have to check to see if she has a boyfriend, or if she is interested in someone else. If she is dating someone else, it's definately ok to feel sad. But one thing you should keep in mind is that you don't want to lash out at her. It's not her fault she is in love with someone else. You have to respect her feelings. Would'nt you rather see her happy, even if shes with another guy, then see her upset about being all alone? If she is interested in someone else, the same thing applies, but keep in mind that there is always room for change! People change their minds every day. Who knows...maybe she'll like you tommorow!
After you've checked that all out...if she is available and currently liking nobody, take a chance! Believe in yourself, and tell her how you really feel. If she reacts like she just wants to be friends, try to go along with that...sometimes being friends is better for the relationship.
For everyone:teach yourself to move on. It may be hard at first if a girl or boy rejects you, but time does move on.
"When one door of hapiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."-Helen Keller
Hope that helped!
email---Hmx_advice@hotmail.coma | | |
| Hey everyone,
Thankyou for leaving all the nice comments, but there are some things to be known about this site...
1. I am not revealing my identity only because I think that would not benifit anyone.
2. When you email me, do not feel obligated to state your name. It is totally ok if you dont want your problems being stated to the public.
3. At the bottom of your emails, please remember to state whether or not you want your problem posted on the site. I won't say any names.
4. You may also choose to comment a problem, or comment some of your own advice. That too, is also completely ok.
Alrighty, heres the email!
Hmx_advice@hotmail.com
Feel free to email and comment!
| | |
| In response to mister blinkman,
One thing that I have learned at HMX, is that being yourself really matters. People that pretend to be something they arent, usually suffer in the end. If you stay true to yourself, and continue to do things YOU enjoy doing, and dress the way YOU like...etc, alot more people will like you. If you find that your more the shy type and you have trouble making friends...I would join some of the sports teams or clubs. The Hommocks musical is also a great way to meet friends. Just remember to be yourself, it really helps.
On the subject matter of girls- Treat them with respect, and be friendly. Girls like down to earth guys that arent self centered or rude. Also remember to get to know every girl. Just because they arent extremely popular doesnt mean they arent cool people. Give everyone a fair chance, and try not to stick to first impressions.
I hope that helps you out,
from- Hmx_advice | | |
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